


Leaving You

by ExtremeEvil95



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: But now it's here and I hope it makes sense, Canon Compliant, M/M, Post 2x20, Post-Canon, a little angsty, i have no idea what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 10:32:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12209463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExtremeEvil95/pseuds/ExtremeEvil95
Summary: All Jace knows, is that when Simon leaves the van, he's going to take a part of Jace with him.





	Leaving You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> This came to me last night, so I had to write it down. It's planned as a standalone with no ties to any of my other Jimons. 
> 
> I've been on vacation and I'm currently going through post-vacation blues more or less, but for those of you that's reading "Spooktacles," my other Jimon, I'm gonna post a missing scene to my tumblr this weekend so follow me there for some Spooktacles goodness!!
> 
> My tumblr is [gustavtomasbruce](http://gustavtomasbruce.tumblr.com/). :)
> 
> Anyway, mistakes are mine since I'm not English. 
> 
> Enjoy! x

Somehow, Jace ended up driving to Central Park with Simon quietly fidgeting in the passenger seat. After the anger had dimmed down - still ever so present but currently tangled with a much bigger worry in his veins - Jace had more or less forced Simon to let him drive him to the park for reasons that neither of them fully understood.

 For being dead not more than a couple of hours ago, Jace felt strangely alive behind the steering wheel. There was a dull ache in his bones; something that didn’t belong in him lingered beneath his skin, something he had no full knowledge of what it was just yet.

  He could see where Simon was coming for, sure, he would’ve sacrificed himself in a heartbeat to keep the people he loved out of harm’s way. But making a deal with a Seelie? And not just any Seelie,  _no,_ it had to be the  _Queen?_ That couldn’t be good.

  There was no way in hell this could end well for either of them.

  Simon stared out through the windshield: eyes shielded with something glossy and wet, not taking in any of his surroundings. He had barely said a word since they left the bar and the party behind; for someone whom rarely could keep quiet for more than a few seconds at a time, it was a striking contrast.

  Jace wanted to drop a comment about Simon’s van taking up much more space than what was necessary in a crowded town like New York: he wanted to say  _something_ that would make the tormented look on Simon’s face go away once and for all.

  The silence made it feel like they were oceans apart, when they in fact sat right next to each other. If Jace concentrated, he could practically feel the heat of Simon’s body and the anxiety radiate off him in thick shockwaves.

  There was something he wanted to say, but if the words left Jace’s lips, everything would change.

  For better or for worse, the line between the two blurrier than ever.

  ”I.. should go.”

  Simon’s voice was barely louder than a whisper. Jittery fingers pulled at a loose string from his jacket, tugging at it like if he just got it loose, he wouldn’t have to face the consequences of his decision.

  Jace wanted to scream. He’d already done his fair share of cursing and screaming outside of the bar; Simon had taken his anger with his head raised high, even though he broke right in front of Jace’s burning gaze. What was left now was the tired remains of two people with nowhere to go.

  The shadowhunter knew that when Simon left the van, the vampire would take a part of him with him. How big that part would be wasn’t something Jace had any knowledge of, he just knew it would be big enough to leave a mark.

  ”We can still fix this,” Jace ignored how desperate he sounded, instead focusing on trying to make Simon look at him. The vampire needed to see that Jace would make sure to find him a way out of this mess. ”She can’t do this to you, we can -”

  ”It’s done, Jace,” Simon said with conviction; every word a quiet plea for Jace to accept the facts. ”I’ve made my choice; the Queen would’ve hurt Maia, probably Luke too. She wants me in her court, there’s no way to go back on that now. I’m a man of my word, I made her a promise. It would probably get worse if I try to hide from her.”

  There was truth to the vampire’s words because of course it had to be. Sometimes Jace wondered if anything could hurt as much as the truth did.

  Maybe he was overreacting; maybe this wouldn’t be the end of anything, neither of them knew what the Queen had in store after all. Still, there was so much Jace never got the chance to say to Simon: words that now were burning on the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill out in a mess of need he had no control over.

  Those words that would change everything.

  For better or for worse.

  Simon pressed down the handle, the door sliding up with a creaking sound. He didn’t look at the shadowhunter; Jace could still make the hint of something red colouring pale skin. Tears.

  ”Simon, wait,” Jace leaned across the middle and took a hold of Simon’s arm. His grip around the vampire was probably rougher than necessary, but if he loosened it, there was no guarantee that Simon would stay.

  At least now the vampire looked at him with those teary eyes; searching after an explanation hiding in Jace’s own, but only coming up with answers that brought him nothing except for confusion. He didn’t pull away.

  Jace could deal with confusion.

  ”Why did you drive me here tonight? I could’ve run here on my own.”

  A beat of silence, then another one.

  ”I don’t want you to face her alone,” Jace wasn’t far from the truth. That was one of the reasons why he drove Simon here using the vampire’s own van; the biggest reason, on the other hand, was selfish and overwhelming in a way not much else could compare to.

  He should want to go back to the bar and be with Clary; Clary who loved  _him._ Instead, he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Simon and hold the vampire close. Jace had never been one to want the things he could have; he was destined to fall for those out of his reach.

  ”It’s not the first time I have a heartfelt chat with the Seelie Queen, Herondale,” Simon tried to joke, but it fell flat and out of place. ”Think I can handle her, whatever she wants me to do.”

  ”You don’t know that,” Jace urged on, fingers digging into the material of Simon’s jacket. ”She’s not exactly known to hold anything back, Simon.”

  Simon smiled: lips barely pulled back, the faintest of curls around the edges. ”I’ve had my fair share of battles, both before and after I became a vampire. Being the Vice President of my 8th grade class took a certain type of charm, I have that to my advantage.”

  It’s a dumb enough of a sentence to bring out a slight smirk from Jace. He let go of Simon’s arm, only to have cold fingers entwine with his own before he’s pulled his hand away completely. It took him by surprise; he blinked, looking up at Simon to find a vampire on the verge of panicking staring back at him.

  From seeing Simon this way: the panic in his eyes, feeling the determination in his grip, Jace was sure that whatever he thought he knew about Simon’s feelings towards him, wasn’t close to the truth.

  He wondered for how long Simon had known about how Jace felt, or if this was only a shot in the dark from the vampire’s part.

  Jace curled his own fingers around Simon’s, holding onto them. ”I’m gonna find a way to bring you back.”

  Simon smiled, still with the same sadness infecting his features. ”I know you will. Take care of my van and the others while I’m gone, okay? I don’t want them to worry about me.”

  ”Stop making it sound like you’re going to die,” Jace said roughly, biting back the confessions that threatened to spill. He didn’t want to make this any harder than it already was: he wouldn’t rip his heart out completely until Simon was safe and sound out of the Queen’s grip again. ”You’re gonna get out of there.”

  ”Can’t kill someone who’s already dead, am I right?” Simon laughed: or, at least Jace thought it was supposed to be a laugh. The sound of it made the shadowhunter’s heart shatter bit by bit in his chest. ”For real though, I need to go.”

  Jace felt a chill run down his spine as Simon pulled his hand away. Where their fingers had touched lingered a tingling feeling, like his skin remembered every inch of Simon’s own. ”Don’t go.”

  The words won’t change a thing, Jace knew that. Still, he needed to say them out loud in a last attempt to make everything better.

  Simon pushed the door open completely, sliding out with ease. None of the previous nerves remained, he looked calmer than Jace had seen him in a long time: like he had accepted his fate. ”I’ll come back. I’ll come back for the others; for  _you.”_

Jace blinked.

  Where the vampire had stood moments before, remained nothing but the stillness of the night. Jace flew out of the car and ran as fast as he could toward the entrance. 

   He had no idea for how long he tried to make the guards let him inside; for how long he paced around on the bridge, pulling at his hair and trying to come up with a solution that wouldn’t end up in complete and utter devastation.

  Simon wasn’t there, and that was enough to make him lose control.

 Jace had no idea how he managed to drive the van back to the boathouse: all he knew was that once he collapsed on top of Simon’s bed, losing the vampire would break him in ways he hadn’t been broken in a very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a kudo/comment if you liked it!
> 
> See you all in the next update. xx


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